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Wednesday, September 08, 2010
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Army Reserve Family Programs
Reunions are a Process

Homecomings and Reunions from a Mobilization or a Deployment are perhaps the most challenging phase for Soldiers and Family Members. 


What to Expect  

  • Every deployed Soldier, family member, and friend may experience a feeling of anticipation as the end of the deployment approaches. This may take the form of eagerness for reunion or a dread of a return to a problematic situation or a mixture of both.
  • These feelings may result in you and your family members being key-up and exhausted when the family is finally reunited.
  • It may take a while for the military member to adjust for example to the local time zone, home cooking, lack of continual noise. Some initial difficulty sleeping through the night is typical.
  • The military member may want to stay at home and rest while the spouse may be eager to socialize as a couple or get the accumulated "honey do" tasks done. Skillful compromise and reasonable give and take will be needed if arguments and hurt feelings are to be avoided.
  • The gifts the deployed member brings home or the special welcome efforts the family and friends make for the deployed member may not result in the expected reaction.  Again, it makes sense to keep expectations reasonable and to stay flexible.
  • Children's reactions at homecoming may not be what the parents expected or hoped for.  Very young children may not remember the deployed person and may be shy.  Older children may be resentful of the time the deployed person was away from the family. Children may need time to get reacquainted.  Give it time.
  • If there were unresolved marital or family problems before the deployment, they may not have gotten better during the deployment. Realize it will take time and effort to resolve such problems. Be patient and keep expectations reasonable.
  • If promises were made, through letters or phone calls, during the deployment, the person to whom the promises were made will probably remember and expect the promises to be kept.
  • The deployed person may feel surprised or hurt that the family did so well during the deployment. Such feelings are normal, but show them love and appreciation for all their efforts during the deployment.

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    Things to Remember  

  • Be Prepared
  • Be Kind to Yourself
  • Expect and Accept Changes
  • Be Realistic
  • Communicate
  • Be Careful with Expectations
  • Give Yourself Time
  • Seek Support

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