This is the last few days before the reunion.  The Soldier has been working long hours to ensure equipment has been turned in and their work is caught up before arriving home.  Family Members have been running around trying to prepare everything for the Soldier’s arrival.  Thoughts may be last minute lists, “what did I miss?”  “is it too late to paint the bedroom”, etc.  Worries about making the reunion perfect are common.

• Fantasies
• Excitement
• Work 
• Planning
• Overwhelming thoughts 
• Back-Up Plans

Reunion is the immediate meeting and the first few days after arrival. This is the time of courtship, relearning, intimacy, and a happy time or honeymoon. This is not the time to address problems. It is a time for understanding. Things to expect in this phase are:

• Physical changes
• Immediate excitement
• Tired – ready to relax
• Courtship in the relationship
• Pride in each other
• Social Events
• Intimacy
• Need for time and space

As problems surface, expectations of a Normal Family Life go down. This is the time the problems come up. If there was a good reunion, these problems will eloquently or diplomatically surface. Things to expect in this phase are:

• Independence
• Finances
• Trust
• Gifts
• Unresolved problems/issues
• Children Issues (problems, changes, growth)
• Differences in behavior
• Control
• Jealousy
• Routine (or lack thereof)
• Difficulty in decision making 

This is a time of renegotiating new routines, reconnecting, redefining family roles, acceptance of control and decision making.  New rules will be established.

• Renegotiation
• Trust
• Need to reconnect
• Acceptance
• Explain new rules
   

Returning to the normal family routine of sharing, growing, and experiencing the ups and downs, happiness and sadness of a family.

• Routines established
• Accepts change
• Personal growth